Rick Curtis

Curtis joined Squadron from our arch enemies, the German All-stars when he realised that whore-mongering was frowned upon, and promptly made his mark as a swashbuckling centre back.
His ability to kick poncey strikers off the park has been invaluable in the 5 years that he has been in the side.
Recently lost the club captaincy after trying to impress some girls by juggling a fish tank, but should get that back soon as our current captain is a Paki.
Has been somewhat set back by injuries recently, but has made a sparkling recovery from the STDs that blighted his "form" last season.